Fear of being rejected

In a TEDx presentation a man named Jia Jiang tells us how he managed to get over the fear of being rejected by those around him.

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Screenshot: Alexandra Vlas

He tells us that when he was in the first grade, at the age of 6, the lady teacher decided to give gifts to all the children in the class, she wanted each child to experience receiving a gift.

One day she gathered them all in front of the class, the gifts were put in a corner and she told the children: ”Let’s say beautiful things to each other!”

There were 40 children in the classroom and when someone heard their name, she went to give the gift.

The number of children left to take their gifts declined until it reached the last three, among which there was also Jia. The lady teacher asked the rest of the children if they could say something beautiful about the three children left, but none had anything to say. Then the teacher told the three children to take their gifts and sit back and be kind to receive compliments next year.

Jia tells us that the teacher realized that she had transformed a teamwork activity into a public humiliation for three children at the age of six. He tells us that this is the first part of the story and that he does not want to go through the same situation once again.

But over eight years, when he was 14 years old, in his town, Beijing, came Bill Gates who made a speech and Jia heard his message and was very impressed. He says he fell in love with that man and figured out what he wanted to do with his life.

That night he sent a letter to his family announcing that by the time he was 25 years old he would have built the world’s largest company and that company would buy Microsoft.

This was the second part. After two years he had the opportunity to go to the USA and he went because Bill Gates lived there. He believed that the chance was the beginning of his entrepreneurial adventure, but that was not the case.

By the time he was 30, he still did not build his company but worked as a marketing manager for a Fortune 500 company.

He felt embarrassed, whenever he wanted to do something at work or present an idea in front of a group he was rejected and struggled between two stories: the six years old version, when he was rejected by others, and the 14 year old version, when he wanted domination and power; the version in which he feared the rejection of those around him was always winning.

Read the rest in Paperless





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